I want to tell you a secret. Lean in. Come closer. Okay, you ready?
*Pause*
I read romance novels.
It’s true. I do. No, I’ve never read the Fifty Shades series but I read comparable (though, better written) novels of the same genre. Some of it’s pretty tame and sweet. Some of it, not so much. I read everything from Jane Austen to the Michelle Pillow and Courtney Milan. However, this segment of Hate it, Love it isn’t about the classics.
I Hate It
- Fucking Angst.
“Does he feel the same way about me?”
“How could he ever care about me?”
“He’s out of my league.”
“It’s going to be hard. We won’t work.”
I love him. How did I get here? He can’t know. I have to pull back, push him away.
I fucking can’t.
Seriously, are people really like this? In case you couldn’t tell…I talk a lot. This means that I will ask where I stand with a quickness that will make his head spin. I have enough anxiety about things out of my control as is. No need adding to that. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
- Synonyms
Seriously, the shit people write when trying to avoid the words PENIS! and VAGINA! can get a bit outrageous.
Cavern| Canal| Spear| Maleness| Staff| Petals| Apex| Mound| Velvet Covered Steele Rod
STAHP!
- The Plots
Is everyone this bored with real life? Does every man have to be a gorgeous billionaire with soft hair and piercing eyes? Do all woman need an alpha male in their lives? Does everyone have a fucking psychopath stalker waiting in the bushes to fuck up their shit?
Goodness! Enough is enough!
Not everyone was abused as a child. Not everyone has manipulative family members pulling the strings. Not everyone is a secret mobster falling for the nice girl. Sometimes regular ass people fall in love while doing regular ass things.
I Love It
- The Inner Dialogue
Seriously, why isn’t everyone’s feelings broadcasted at all times?
- The Feelings
Surprise, surprise…the hopeless romantic loves feelings. There’s just something about when a character is confessing his/ her feelings to their self or their love interest. Sigh.
“I’ve wanted you since I laid eyes on you, since the first time I saw you smile, since the first time I heard your deep, husky laugh. I wanted you the first time I heard you curse.” With so much on the line, the words began to flow freely, “I want your smile, your laugh, your spirit, your time, your energy, your love. Your body would just be an added bonus.”
- The Plots
Okay, Okay. So, I both hate and love the plots. Marriages of Convenience? Yes. Accidental Baby? Yes. Falling for the boss? Yeah. Enemies turned Lovers? Yes. Opposites Attracting? Yep. Best friends turned lovers? Yassss.
So, there you have it. Another segment of Hate it, Love it. If you have suggestions for books I should check out, let me know! If you’d like recommendations, let me know!
Til next time…
All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go 