I hope you enjoy Grey and her secret place. I plan to expand on this story but for now…
Prologue
Grey had been going there for as long as she could remember. Her special place. She no longer recalled how she had discovered it. For her, it had always just been. Its rolling emerald hills and bright cerulean skies invaded her subconscious as she slept each night and whispered begging pleas for her presence each day. As the only child of neglectful parents, her special place had been a much needed escape and she never denied its siren’s call.
She had been born to older parents. Parents who hadn’t intended to have a child and were certainly not prepared for the surprise that was Grey. They had loved their lifestyle more than they could have ever loved her and from the age that she could speak, kept her busy with schoolwork, dance classes, and music lessons while they played the role of unattached world travelers. She was home-schooled by the best instructors money could buy-not because her parents wanted what was best for their daughter, but because they didn’t want the obligations that came with a having child in school. No, Martha could never picture herself in PTA meetings and Joseph would have never coached her little league team.
Breakfast was served in Grey’s room each morning and she had lunch and dinner with the staff. She spent only an hour each day with her parents in their joint office while they regaled their sweet child with stories of their adventures and travels while openly discussing where they’d go next. She had no friends, no siblings or cousins to play with or talk to, only the staff whose staunch propriety kept them at a distance. The little free time Grey had was spent exploring the house and grounds, pretending she was on the type of adventures her parents spoke about with unbridled passion.
It was one of those adventures that had led her to her special place and her childlike inability to keep a secret that led her to lose it. Each moment she was free, she found herself in the dusty, old attic, admiring the way the sun streamed in over the large, half hidden painting. She’d move tentatively towards the image and pull away the sheet, stepping back to appreciate its beauty.
Always cautious of someone discovering her secret, Grey listened and waited before taking a seat in front of the hulking painting and closing her eyes. Each day she did the same thing and each day, the same thing happened. One moment, she’d be alone in her attic and the next, she’d be in her special place, away from the rain, the fog, her negligent parents, and the overwhelming loneliness that was her existence outside of this place.
Upon opening her eyes, she was always greeted with nearly blinding sunshine. No longer was she seated upon dusty, creaking wood but instead lush green grass and the sound of a babbling brook filled her ears. She’d allow hours to pass lying in the grass, dipping her feet in the cool water of the spring. Time was different here; what felt like hours in her special place were really only mere minutes outside.
As Grey grew older, the loneliness from what she called her “other world” bled into her new one. The clear sky, warm climate, and soft grass no longer provided her with the same comfort and she yearned for long denied companionship. On the few occasions she had spoken with her parents, she begged them to send her to school only to be met with the same confounding refusal.
She was eight when her special place seemed to answer all of her prayers and gave her Jackson. Grey would never forget the day she opened her eyes after sitting in front of the painting and was met with more than sunshine and lush meadows. He was lying on a rock, oblivious to the world as his bare feet swayed with the current of the shallow creek. She watched him with blatant curiosity before standing and moving towards him. A small thrill ran through her, something about him felt safe and she moved forward.
“Hello,” she called out, standing directly above him looking down. He jumped a little before opening his eyes stunning her with their honeyed perfection. Several expressions crossed his face before he spoke, shock, confusion, curiosity, and finally annoyance.
“What are you doin’ here?” He drawled, eying her suspiciously. “Where’re parents, little girl?” He began to sit up, leaving his feet in the water.
“I’m not little, I’m eight and my parents are in the other world,” Grey responded with all the innocence of someone her age and was thoroughly amused by his confused expression.
“Other world?” He raised his eyebrows, watching her intently.
She nodded emphatically, smiling at his obvious obtuseness, “Yessssss, the world on the other side of the picture, silly.”
He stared at her for a moment, sighed and nodded once as if accepting her answer. “Of course, the other world.” He lied back down and closed his eyes once more as if dismissing her.
Moving forward, Grey settled onto the rock a few feet from him and lay down, mimicking his supine position.
They stayed that way for an immeasurable amount of time, him with his eyes closed, her watching him intently.
“What’s your name?” He asked, breaking the silence.
“Grey. What’s your name?” She responded, afraid to move her eyes from him in case he disappeared.
“Jackson.”
Nothing else had been said that day but when Grey returned to the attic that evening, she was happier than she had ever been in her life.
For four years, every single day, Grey met Jackson by that creek. He became the companion and older brother she had always wanted and she became the little sister he seemingly tolerated. He never questioned where she came from again, assuming that she lived on the other side of the forest where she always appeared from. She never tried to correct him as it was obvious he didn’t believe her anyway.
Together, they’d lie in the grass or on a rock, never touching, always separated by at least an arm’s length and Grey would regale Jackson with her hopes and dreams or the details of her day. He never said much in response but she knew that he listened to her and that was always enough for Grey.
“Jackson, why do you come here every day?” She asked out of the blue one afternoon.
“Why do you?” was his quick response.
She smiled, he was always like this, never soft and forthcoming with her- just as she imagined a real big brother would be.
“It’s my special place,” she admitted.
“Well, maybe it’s mine too.”
Chapter 1
Grey blinked back tears, thinking of the last time that she had seen Jackson. Fifteen years had passed since that day in the meadow. That afternoon, when she climbed down from the attic, her parents had been waiting for her in her bedroom, a very pleased expression on their faces as they crashed her entire world with their excited words.
“We’ve been thinking and we feel that we never gave your desire to go to school enough consideration in the past. We’ve had all of your things packed,” her mother said, a sense of self-satisfaction gleamed in her dark eyes, “and you leave in the morning for boarding school! Aren’t you excited?”
Excitement was far from what she felt. Grey wasn’t sure what she had felt-panic, hurt, terror, but it hadn’t been excitement. She had never even gotten to say goodbye to him, her only friend. She should have never told them about her secret place but she had wanted desperately to connect with them, exchange stories of adventures. One too many ramblings about the world in the painting and they suddenly gave a damn. They told her that they feared the seclusion was playing tricks on her young psyche and that her lack of interaction with the outside world would keep her from being able to live in it.
Like it was her fault… like she had made those choices for herself.
The next few years of her life had been filled with anxiety as she was thrusts into a social world she knew nothing about. She was a child allowed minimal interaction with the outside world and her parents threw her to the wolves, better known as socially privileged youths. She arrived at that New England boarding school with virtually no social skills and too much imagination. She was ostracized, bullied, humiliated on a daily basis and her pleas to her parents to return home, even for holidays, were left unanswered. Two years in and Grey no longer believed in that world in the painting. She no longer believed in him. This world was cruel and there was no room for magic in a place like that.
Sure, Grey managed to graduate from high school, get into a more than decent college, and even made out with a few close friends but she never felt comfortable out in the world, never felt right in her own skin. Never felt like she was home.
He had always been home to her. From the moment she saw him sitting on the bank of that babbling stream, bare feet dangling in the water, sunshine peeking through his thick, dark hair, he was her home. That lanky boy with the deep, southern drawl and easy smile was the only comfort she knew as a young girl and she probably loved him from that very first moment she saw him in that special place.
Shaking herself from her thoughts, she switched lanes impatiently. Struggling to see through the sheets of rain that slid down her windshield, wipers be damned. Traffic slowed considerably as the rain pelted the roof of each car, creating a blurred blanket ahead of her, darkening the sky. The only thing Grey could make out was the shaky glow of headlights around her. All she wanted was to get home.
Home. She scoffed at the word. What did it even mean now? Surely, it wasn’t the house she had just inherited? The one she spent the first 12 years of her life being ignored in.
Home was once Jackson and her special place. After that first time, she had become hooked. Grey became addicted to the place where it never rained and despite the snow on the ground and the falling leaves, never grew cold. She grew obsessed with the boy who lived there. A place and boy she wasn’t sure even existed.
She switched between zoning out and staring at the GPS, watching anxiously as the minutes until she reached her destination dwindled. It had been 15 fucking years since she had made this journey, 15 years since her parents blew up her world. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel to no particular rhythm as the memories flooded her mind.
So lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t even realized that she was pulling up to the house until the large structure came into view. Grey had always loved this house from the outside if not her time in it. Her parents had also loved this house but as an adult, Grey saw it for what it truly was…her prison. And yet…not. They had never truly wanted her there, she realized. However, they were dead now and this house that they had loved more than they loved their own daughter was hers now.
She briefly considered burning it to the ground.
Chapter 2
Once her car was parked on the gravel driveway, Grey hurried to exit the vehicle and stretch, not even bothering to lock it. Scooping up her duffel bag from the passenger seat, she turned and took in her home for the next few weeks. She felt so small in front of the big, old house-like she was a child again. Moving forward, she walked up the pristinely painted stairs that led to the wrap around porch. So much time had passed since she last stood on this porch, pleading with her parents to let her stay but despite her tears, they hadn’t changed their minds.
Running her fingers along the smooth wood of the banister as she ascended the stairs onto the porch, she sadly recalled all of the offenses her parents had made against her. A month into her first semester at boarding school, her parents had decided that they no longer wanted to live full-time in the secluded mountain home, choosing to travel all year long instead. Their persistent sense of adventure left Grey spending all of her holidays at school alone until she made a few friends who didn’t mind her crashing their family dinners.
Shaky hands managed to unlock the door after several tries and Grey was met with a desperate sort of darkness. A chill ran up her spine as she quickly fumbled to find the light switch she knew was to the left of the door. A slight gasp escaped her lips as soft light flooded the living room. It was so different now. Gone were the plush, dark sofas she would sank into while doing homework and in their places were cream antique pieces- much too pretty to touch, let alone sit on.
Briefly, she wondered how long it took her parents to resume their child-free lifestyle. Rolling her eyes, she ignored the rest of the house as she locked the door and made her way up to her old bedroom. The walk felt familiar and a part of her hated that… hated that anything about this cold, lifeless place felt familiar.
Unsurprisingly, her old bedroom was now a home gym.
“These fucking people,” Grey mumbled, stomping down the hall to a guest room. It was seemingly fitting because that’s all she had ever been to her parents- a guest. Setting her bag inside the room, she returned downstairs to her car. Bone tired.
Pulling forth all of the motivation she could muster, Grey managed to unpack the rest of her car, put away her clothes and groceries, and take inventory of the house before heading back up to the guest room. Eyeing the soft down comforter, she fell face first into the bed. Sleep stole her before she even managed to remove her shoes.
Chapter 3
The next several days found Grey busy with meeting after meeting with lawyers, collectors, and realtors. Her parents had a lot of property and a lot of junk and she forced herself to learn more about their assets so she knew how to sell them. She dedicated each day to a room or closet, sifting through items she would either keep, donate, or sell like, those vintage Chanel dresses her mother owned- definitely the keep pile.
It was on day six that she realized how mentally and physically exhausted she was and why she was pushing herself so hard-avoidance. The dreams didn’t help. Each time she closed her eyes and drifted asleep, she was accosted with visions of rolling hills and sunlight streaming into honey colored eyes. She needed a break from this house, away from way the attic called to her. Like she had as a child, Grey found herself exploring the grounds, frantically trying to find something to ground herself and to connect to outside of that house. She stomped through the woods, fingers tracing each tree she passed, taking note of the squelching sound her black, muddied rain boots made as they pushed into the wet earth. What once had been magical to her as a child, now felt desolate and she was once more reminded of how much she didn’t belong here.
Gray light danced through the trees as she ventured farther and farther into the forest allowing its silent wretchedness to pull her in. This place was the complete opposite of everything she’d learned to love. It was dark and lifeless, like her childhood had been before and after she found her special place. And as if a proverbial lightbulb was switched on in her mind, she was once more reminded of why she was really subjecting herself to the frigid cold.
She was too afraid to look. Too petrified to know for sure.
“Jackson,” Grey whispered longingly as she remembered the only friend she had as a child, real or imagined.
Her body shook and her teeth chattered as she continued moving, desperate to be anywhere but inside that house. It served as a nuisance, a painful reminder, and a temptation all at once.
Was it still there? In the attic? Had her parents gotten rid of it?
Her wayward thoughts and the desperate quiet of the forest were ruined as her phone began to vibrate. Yanking one glove off, Grey pulled the phone from the pocket of her yellow raincoat and smiled at the name on the display screen.
“Hi baby,” She beamed, thankful for this bit of light in her dark week.
“Good morning, sweetheart. What are you up to?” Hector, her boyfriend of two years asked.
She could tell he was at work, the continuous pecking of computer keys in the background was a dead giveaway.
Grey sighed. “Not much. Taking a walk.” she paused, taking in the damp, gloomy scene that surrounded her, her eyes tingled. “I miss you so much.”
And she did. Hector was perfect. Doting…kind…spontaneous.
“I miss you too, babe,” he responded and Grey could hear the smile in his voice.
God, she adored that man.
“When will you be home? Is everything going alright there? You don’t need me to come, do you?” He rushed out.
She couldn’t help but chuckle. If he even thought, for one second, that she needed him, he’d be on the next flight from Denver to Seattle.
“Everything is fine. There’s just a lot of stuff to go through and finalize. I’ll be okay.” Grey said, doing her best to sound convincing but he knew her too well.
“Grey…” He admonished.
“Hector…” she replied, giggling at her imitation of his stern voice.
“The moment you’re not okay-“
“I’ll call you. Promise,” she said, cutting him off, eyes rolling while she fought the grin threatening to break.
“Your gorgeous ass better. I can’t wait to-” The intercom in his office chose that moment to inform him of a client waiting in the lobby. He sighed unhappily. “I have to go, Baby. Keep me updated. Love you.”
“I love you too,” she responded, ending the call.
Fuck, she really needed to finish all of this work so she could go home to him, home to her life. The life she had scraped, and clawed out for herself after the people who were supposed to love and protect her threw her away.
“Speaking of home…” Grey whispered out loud to herself, glancing over her shoulder at the house she had spent all day purposely forgetting.
Chapter 4
Her palms were sweaty as she reached for the closet door that hid the attic entrance only to pull back and continue pacing the hallway. If she was being honest with herself, she was terrified. On one hand, if Grey found out it wasn’t real, she was definitely due for a psychological evaluation and the one positive memory from my childhood would be ruined…tainted. On the other hand, if it was real, she wouldn’t know how to accept that. Grey had thoroughly given up on magic and wonder and secret worlds hidden in paintings definitely categorized as magic and wonder.
“Fuck it,” Grey said as she threw open the closet door before she could think herself out of it.
With protesting knees, she bent low to pry open the small, plain door leading to the veiled staircase. Digging her fingers into the barely there grooves, she pulled until the door gave way revealing a narrow, low stairway. Grey climbed the stairs, hunching over slightly to fit into the small space and emerged in a large room filled from wall to wall with forgotten treasures.
It had been 15 years and still nothing had changed in that dusty, old attic. However, that didn’t surprise her. She had happened upon the attic by accident as a child. It wasn’t easily accessible and she had always been sure that not even her parents knew it existed. Spotting the white sheet, she moved forward without thinking, the path as familiar to her as breathing, and pulled it away revealing her favorite treasure of them all.
Grey took a deep, nerve settling breath as she stared at the picture in front of her. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, simply taking in the moment. She had dreamed of this for years, fought to ignore its call while she slept, and now that it was here, she didn’t want to rush it. The sun’s reflection off of the painting’s frame brought her attention back to the reason she was risking her sanity and without thought, she sat and closed her eyes.
Just as she did when she was a child, she breathed deeply and cleared her mind waiting for the sun’s warmth on her face. She waited… and waited… and waited, but nothing happened and when she opened her eyes, she was still in that dusty old attic. Immediately, her worst fear came crashing to the forefront of her mind. What if it wasn’t real?
All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go 